It is so important that the EFT couples work permeate very deeply into the individual consciousness of each partner. That each partner ask themselves, “how do I contribute the the negative cycle in the marriage?” It is always true that each partner has blockages within, and “blind spots” about how they contribute to the negative cycle process. While many of these blockages can be engaged in the couples meetings, the full understanding of the blockages and how to work them through often requires depthful individual followup by the therapist.
The question is… what is the crucial “additional understanding” that each partner needs to have open-hearted healing interactions with their partner? This insight is arrived at in both the couple’s and individual conversations. An important aspect of this process is that it is felt as a “light bulb going off in the head.” A sense of something new! It is important for long term marriages that they are not only a place of safety but also a source of new self-discovery. As a therapist with couples it important to be able to periodically inquire about this process of fresh discovery in the marriage.