There are hurts too much to bear. Emotional hurts, that at any given time, we cannot bear to fully feel. Or rather, the way we bear them is to not feel, deny they exists, alter our perception of their importance, confine them to psychological compartments, or intellectually explain them away.
Now, complicate this picture, by considering that the hurts that most bedevil our lives first occurred to us in childhood… a time in our lives when we are least able to integrate/synthesize terrible hurts, a time when we need whatever defenses we can summon to make these terrible assaults go away. To somehow make them not there. The child’s mind does its best to hide from hurts it finds intolerable.
All adults falling in love bring these “inner child” hurts with them. Without exception! The question here is how aware each partner is that this is happening? The other question is how intrusive the childhood hurts are to the relationship? (to be cont)
