The goal of attachment-based couples therapy, which is at the heart of eft treatment, is to help two people learn to hold onto each other/be there for each other/live together with mutual awareness. This can only happen if each in the couple has come to feel emotionally safe with the other, emotionally safe with each other in spite of the differences that always exists between two people… secure with each other no matter the differences. This also means that the two have come to deeply trust each other.
This “holding on” process is never actually perfect. It depends upon the ability of the couple to do repair during/following moments where insecurity/vulnerability/rupture inevitably occur. It takes time for two people to convincingly learn that the other is going to respond to the vulnerable reach of repair with a vulnerable reach back. But learning to trust the other in repair is at the heart of learning to trust the other… period.
Repair is always about two people coming back to one-another. The “always coming back” is at the heart of the process. There cannot be repair if two people do not return to each other… if one stands away, held back. What eft work adds to this process is the recognition of the precious value and deep love that is inherent in each other’s reach for return… never to be taken for granted.
