There is a particular way each of us wants to be appreciated… a way that is personal to us. This gets so buried in the negative cycle it seldom gets heard. Typically what the other person hears is something negative, something along the lines of how the other fails to appreciate! The desire ends up coupled with criticism, and seldom gets lovingly taken in by the other. This then sets off a negative cycle in place of an important sharing that could bring the couple much closer. As the therapy evolves there are valuable moments when each in the marriage has the opportunity to vulnerably speak the particular appreciation they long for. When this is shared in a vulnerable as opposed to blaming way, the chances of positive reception and significant healing are very high!
About Orin Borders, Ph.D.
Orin Borders, Ph.D, a psychologist in private practice with a long standing interest in the Marriage-Of-Opposites, is the originator on this site.