I am thinking today that it would be a valuable exercise for each partner in the marriage to fill-in a detailed picture for their partner of their own vision of how a particular conflict situation would come to resolution, totally from their own point of view, from inception to conclusion. This would be done in a turn-taking way, so that while one is describing their vision of the situation the other is simply listening and taking the picture in. The task is not to solve the situation. The task is to see how the other person sees it. To walk in the others moccasins. Objections are saved for latter. Often we do not stop to actually take the other person in on their own terms. To actually be with them as they are. This is an exercise meant to increase both the experience of connection and empathy with ones partner.
This experience of empathy/connection is necessary for each in a marriage to feel that their partner “gets them.” This is a necessary foundation to feeling that we “have our partner’s back.” That we are “there for them.”
