It is my experience that all primary relationships include inherent disappointment. The result is a drama of love & hate living within the psyche of each in relationship. The disposition of each partner’s inherent negative is hugely determining of the fate of relationship. A successful “conscious marriage” generally requires that each in the marriage “do something” with their inherent disappointment/negativity.
In the marriageofopposites situation one in the relationship is generally intruded on by longings/disappointment/protest while the other tends to avoid experiencing their own version of longings/disappointment/protest. The healing progression begins with containment for the purposes of communication on the part of the core styled and claiming acknowledgment of the “inner negative” on the part of the outer-styled. The healing progression moves from enmeshed acting-out, to deescalated communication, to the establishment of both empathic contact and internal differentiation, which then enables replacement of polarizing escalation with emotionally connected communication.
