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Healing the Marriage-of-OppositesHealing the Marriage-of-Opposites
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A therapeutic direction to consider

January 27, 2017

As a therapist working with couples, I can often see how the whole dance could be different than it goes… but the couple, caught up in it, cannot see. I am just now considering, that it would be valuable to write down how we see that the dance could go and share this with the couple. And/or show them, by having them watch a portion of one of their videos, and doing gentle commentary about what would have made the interaction better, and how they might have avoided this instance of the negative cycle. This would all have to be done with positive reframing in order to prevent shaming. Among the benefits, this therapeutic action would make accessible a healthy vision to the couple of how they might evolve. Secondly, this would be another experience of the couple observing the negative cycle, but with the recognition that it requires only small changes to convert the negative to a positive cycle, that the challenge to get better is not huge but very reachable. All of this would require extra time and resources which are often not available, but this describes a therapeutic direction I would like to explore with couples. 

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About Orin Borders, Ph.D.

Orin Borders, Ph.D, a psychologist in private practice with a long standing interest in the Marriage-Of-Opposites, is the originator on this site.

Current Project

Commentaries on the Marriage-of-Opposites

  • Chapter 1: The Phenomenon
  • Chapter 2: Final Common Pathways
  • Chapter 3: The Problem Of Nondifferentiation And Developmental Levels
  • Chapter 4: Defensive Presentations – When Appearances Deceive
  • Chapter 5: The Impact Of Gender
  • Chapter 6: The Core- Versus Outer-Styled…Two Differing Projects

Orin Borders, Ph.D.

530.448.9177

[email protected]

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