I have long considered, in my therapeutic work with both couples and individuals, there is a certain something more needed to make the deepest impact possible with clients. The common truism in psychotherapy… that the therapeutic process will ultimately supply that which is missing, I have finally concluded is only half true. It is now my understanding that there are certain crucial moments where a portion of our clients benefit hugely and crucially from an additional stepping forward on the therapists part… moments when the clients internalization of the therapy goes from half baked to fully baked. These are moments that require more of us therapists.
Many of us, me included, can fear and avoid these moments. After all, they weren’t in the training manual! These are moments when we are vulnerable and exposed. When we step forward out of our common humanity with our clients, and less from our sense of the rules of how therapy is done. Commonly there is a fear of misstepping, poor reaction in the client, censure from colleagues, and ultimately, shame and rejection. Our only hope here is to surround ourselves with portions our therapeutic community that our safe for us… stay close, and share. Only by getting this deep level of support can we then bring the courage necessary to provide our clients the fullest therapy possible.
