In contrast to pursuers who fear abandonment and being seen as somehow “bad-bad” (bad object not to be loved), avoiders tend to be more focused upon the question of their performance in the world as capable/adequate/admirable versus incapable/inadequate/shameful. In contrast to pursuers functioning more from “their gut” avoiders tend to be more concerned with outside images of success and social appropriateness. Avoiders tend to be truly intimidated by the pursuers tendency to confront and seek to avoid vulnerability and socially appearing shameful and socially irresponsible or negligent, or even selfish.
